HOW TO STAY MARRIED A LONG, LONG TIME. PART 5

Jeff Scurlock —  August 17, 2012 — Leave a comment

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Before reading this post make sure you have read the first four parts at THIS LINK.

#3 Be A Giver. Did you know that in God’s economy that giving is the key to blessings in every area of life? Why is giving so important to God? Because, my dear friend we are by nature very selfish.  So God established an economy of giving.

I’m not talking just about money. I’m talking about life. Look at what Jesus said on the subject of giving.

“Do not judge, and you will not be judged.  Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Luke 6:37-38 NIV

The point of Luke 6:37 and 38 is that God blesses us when we give and in order to be givers we must overcome our self. Why? Because we are selfish.

Let’s narrow it down a bit. YOU ARE SELFISH! I’m not trying to offend you. I just want to make sure that we are looking into a normal mirror. Not one that messes with reality.

By our very nature we are going to look out for self first. This is the very reason why so many marriages fail, because people are selfish. Why do people leave the person they made a life long commitment to?

They stand in front of a pastor and make a covenant to be true to the other person; For better and worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others until death we part.

  • I’m leaving you because I’m not having fun in life. SELFISH.
  • I’m leaving you because you’re not paying enough attention to ME! SELFISH.
    • Note: We should be giving our spouses our attention. However sometimes your spouse might fail at it. It’s no reason for divorce.
    • I’m leaving you because I don’t like you anymore. SELFISH
    • I’m leaving you because you’re fat. SELFISH
    • I’m leaving you because you’re not romantic enough. SELFISH
    • I’m leaving you because I’m not getting enough sex. SELFISH

Should I go on? The bullet list you just read could be pages long. Most of the reasons why people end marriages are absurd. That’s right, ABSURD. Why are people so absurd? Because they are so stinking selfish.

Giving is the key. Give of yourself. Give of your time, energy and passions. Do what you don’t want to do.  Men, go to a chick flick with your wife. It’s not the movie you want to see but she does. Give her that movie with your presence.  Ladies try watching the ballgame with your husband. Give!

I could write a book on the subject of giving in marriage. Then I would need to read the book because quite honestly I have not mastered the subject of giving when it comes to marriage.  Felicia and I have been married for thirty-three years. She’s still working on me and I’ m still working on myself.

Marriage is a process of growing and as a husband, wife, individual, Christian, etc., we should never stop growing.

I will end with the greatest example I have ever seen in the subject of giving and marriage, my granddaddy Asa Williams. My granny had seizures and through the years because of the seizures and the medication granny became like a child. Most of my memories are the last quarter of my grandparent’s life.

I watched my granddaddy take care of granny. By the worlds standards he had every right to put her in a nursing home and it would have made his life easier. Until the day my granny died granddaddy cared for her. He took her everywhere he went. If at any hour granny decided she wanted something (like an ice crème cone) granddaddy would help her get dressed, get her to the car (which wasn’t easy) and drive her to get whatever she wanted. He was a giver.

My grandparents were married for over 60 years before granny passed away. When she died it wasn’t in a nursing home with strangers. It was in her house, in her bed with her faithful husband standing at her side.

That’s how marriage is supposed to be.

FOLLOW THIS LINK TO FIND MY BOOK, THE EYE OF A NEEDLE. 

Jeff Scurlock

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