WHEN ADULTS REFUSE TO GROW UP

Jeff Scurlock —  September 8, 2012 — 4 Comments

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This post is based solely on my observation and one quote. There are not statistics or hard evidence, just my personal concern.

My generation, the baby boomers are getting old. As a matter of fact I am on the tail end of that generation and I’m 52.

As a father, pastor and observer I’ve noticed what seems to be a trend among what are now young adults. For the sake of this post young adults are anyone who is old enough to be out of undergrad school and younger than 35.

My observation is that there are a lot of these young adults who are not adults at all. They refuse to grow up.

I’m blessed with three grown children. The oldest is my son Adam. Adam is thirty years old and is a challenged young man. He still lives with his mother and I because of his challenges. Despite his challenges Adam is heavily involved in our church, helps his mother keep the house clean, does the kitchen every night and volunteers at our local hospital.

My daughters are twenty-five and twenty-one. The oldest, is a college graduate, married, has a child, is a schoolteacher, and is involved in leadership at our church. The youngest is a graduate of a medical institute. She has a job as a medical assistant, has her own car, which she purchased and is paying for. She is engaged to be married (3 more weeks), and is involved in leadership at our church.

I am extremely proud of my children. They are mature, responsible ADULTS.

I know others who are. At our church there are many young adults who have worked hard to get educations or just went into the work forces and are working hard. I’m proud of them.

Then there are those who seem to be unable to grow up. I’ve know thirty year old men (boys) who are not challenged yet they still live with parents, don’t work or work just enough to support their McDonalds habit. They don’t contribute to society but they do know how to achieve at the latest video games. Instead of being responsible, going to bed at a decent hour and then rising in the morning to go to a job, they play video games or watch television until the wee hours of the morning. They then sleep the best part of the day away. When I see some of these young adults and ask how they are, their response is always, TIRED. Tired? How can you be twenty something, live with parents, have little responsibility and be tired?

I thought I was a slow starter but by the age of twenty-five I was married, had a child, had attended college to prepare for ministry and was the senior pastor of my first church.

I’m concerned about these young adults.

I’ve just started reading a new book.  The title is WRECKED- When A Broken World Slams into Your Comfortable Life by Jeff Goins. I haven’t gotten very far but this morning I read a paragraph in this book that talks about this very subject.

Goins says; “Words like “initiation” and “rite of passage” and “pilgrimage” tend to ring more true to our postmodern ears. But what is our pilgrimage? We have no great war, no epic struggle to embrace, no cause to call out the best in us.

So what do we do instead? Did you know the average age of a gamer is thirty-two? Now, I don’t see anything inherently wrong with diversion and games, but that is certainly telling about our culture, isn’t it? Instead of raising families or creating culture, we are sitting in our living rooms with our eyes glued to the television, simulating life. We are escapists, cowards, and thieves. We hid, occasionally stealing crumbs from the table of those living the good life. We are avoiding the truth that screams at us from the stillness: “There is more. You are more than this.” So we anesthetize the truth with busyness (or laziness, my addition) maybe if we just do more, this feeling of emptiness will go away. And we won’t actually have to do any real work.” [End Quote] Again that quote is from the book Wrecked by Jeff Goins.

I would be interested to know what you think. Click on the comment ballon at the top of this post and leave your input. Also if you like any post you see at JeffScurlock.com you can share them on your social media networks by using the buttons below. THANKS!

Follow this link to Jeff Goins Book WRECKED.

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Jeff Scurlock

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  • Andrew Sawyer

    I really like this post Pastor Jeff!

  • http://Jeffscurlock.com admin

    Thanks Andrew and thanks for reading. It means a lot. I’M Proud of the fact that you are a hard working young MAN and a great example for your peers. I’m proud of you and Kara!

  • Ty Green

    I have to agree. I see that a lot of my peers(hopefully not me…lol) are stuck in a sort of post adolescence/pre adulthood funk and can’t really seem to get motivated. I can only speak from a male perspective about men, but its seems like my male peers aren’t really sure how to be adult men so they kinda just stop maturing after there teen years. I attribute this to the fact that many of them were raised in homes without fathers and never had a good example of what a man should be. Just a thought. I didn’t mean to rant lol….

    • http://Jeffscurlock.com admin

      Ty, Thanks for reading and for commenting. You are right. By the way I think you are an awesome example of what a young adult MAN should be. I am proud of you and Jessica.