Archives For Family


Note: I’m late posting this article from Christmas Eve, but the message remains the same. I hope it helps you.

It’s Christmas Eve, 2017. Do you know what that means? It means that it’s almost January first!

I’m not a proponent of New Year’s Resolutions; not at all. Resolutions rarely work. I won’t bore you with all the scientific details, but there are actually physiological reasons for the failure of resolutions.

Resolutions rarely work because we stand up tall, square our shoulders, and declare to ourselves that we resolve that next year will be different because we resolve to accomplish something; and it’s usually the same something we declared last year. Then something happens. It’s called life. As life happens, those spoken resolutions fade into the blur of a fast-moving calendar and everything that comes with it. But for the most part, those resolutions are forgotten until December 31 of the next year.

I am a believer in having goals and that leading up to January is a good time to review, renew, and establish goals. What’s the difference? Honestly, I’m not totally sure; but hang in here with me.

I believe in establishing goals. Goals are life targets. However, there are problems with goals, too. Goals can be forgotten. I have an application on my devices called Evernote. The cool thing about Evernote is that you never lose anything you put into it. Word recognition makes it almost if not entirely impossible for anything to be lost. Scan a document in and it will recognize the words in that document. Simply type some words into the search bar and every note and document you have that includes that word will appear.

Recently in Evernote I typed “goals” into the search bar. Goals that I had typed into Evernote as far back as 2012 came to the surface. With those goals came some disappointment. I had typed them into a note and forgotten them. Why would I forget an important goal? Because life happened and, well, I forgot.

Why is it so easy to forget? Life! Looking back at my goals from 2012, I found one of my goals that I didn’t totally achieve but I didn’t forget it, either. I set a goal in 2012 to read fifty-two books. I do believe in reading, but fifty-two books is not a goal that I necessarily recommend. I didn’t forget that goal to read all of those books because it was always in front of me. Every day, my current book was there for me to pick up. On my desk there were always three or four books that were in the bullpen just waiting for their turn. As I started reading one book, I ordered another. I didn’t read fifty-two books in 2012, but I did read thirty-four, which is pretty good and most importantly, I never forgot the goal because it was in front of me.

Lately I’ve been thinking again about my goals and that 2012 goal to read fifty-two books. So, I’m approaching the year with a new, untested goal- tracking system. I bought myself a cheap journal. It’s one of the spiral bound type that almost looks like your typical high school composition book.

Here is the untested system.

First, I wrote my goals on the first two pages of the journal. Remember, some scientists say that the action of writing makes the information more concrete, mentally. Now every morning as I have my quiet time, I read from the Bible, pray, listen to a podcast, read a few pages from my current read, and I re-write my goals. That’s right! The plan is that everyday of this next year, I will rewrite my goals. I will also add notes such as, “goal completed” and “goal dropped”; or I may write a note to explain what I will do on that day to help myself achieve that goal. We’ll see how it goes.

W Clemet Stone said, “No matter how carefully you plan your goals, they will never be more than pipe dreams unless you pursue them with gusto.”

Finally, here are a few goal-setting pointers:
1. Write you goals down.
2. Read or rewrite your goals daily.
3. Be willing to edit your goal list. You may find that your priorities will change as the year goes by.
4. Act! Do something to make your goals a reality.

The Preachers Daughters

Jeff Scurlock —  March 19, 2013 — 2 Comments

My television watching is seasonal. During football season it’s football. During spring fever time it’s HGTV or DIY, the shows that motivate me to do projects around the house.

Right now I’m in a reality show season. Life is good in my mind when the day is coming to an end and I’m sitting in my den with a cup of coffee or something cold and American Pickers, Duck Dynasty, Pawn Stars or American Restoration is on.

Recently I’ve been seeing advertisements for a new show being aired by Lifetime called Preachers Daughters. I’ve never seen the show but he ads are enough for me. This show appears to be about pastors who have wild, loose, disrespectful daughters. It makes me sick on my stomach.

Preachers kids have enough scrutiny to deal with without this horrible reality show from lifetime.

First of all if these guys are really pastors (which I doubt) SHAME ON THEM!  If they are real and if these struggles with their daughters are real (which I doubt) they have sold the soul of their family for buck.

I have been a pastor since May of 1986. I have two beautiful grown daughters who were born in 1987 and 1991.  My daughters didn’t have a normal life growing up. It’s impossible when you’re a PK (Pastors Kid). Felicia and I tried to make life a normal as possible but it was hard.

Pastor’s kids live in a glass house and every move they make is watched, and scrutinized. They deal with a lot of unjust criticism and the agony of being wrongfully judged by people who are not the judge.

We had good times at our house and a few that were not but what family doesn’t.  Our girls had to deal with the pressures of living in that glass house and having an extremely strict father.  Strict? There were times in their young lives that strict doesn’t even qualify as a strong enough word.

When they were little girls we served a Pentecostal church in rural Florida.  Back when I was a young father I didn’t believe that girls should wear pants to church. It’s an archaic belief in many Pentecostal churches that has no scriptural foundation at all. I no longer hold to that belief.  Even on Wednesday nights when my girls would go to the girls program at our church they wore skirts. Felicia pleaded their case with me. “Jeffrey! Our girls are the only girls on Wednesday nights with skirts on.” She was right. The problem was that I battled more with what other people thought because we lived in that glass house. What would people think if the pastors daughters wore a pair of modest shorts to church on Wednesday night or even jeans? Isn’t that crazy?

Boys? I told them they couldn’t go on a date unless I met and had a conversation with “The Boy.” I stand by that practice. If a father sends his daughter out into the darkness of night without knowledge of the boy and without having a conversation with him, he’s crazy. Kara said, “Daddy ALL THE BOYS ARE SCARECD OF YOU!” “GOOD!” I would say.

I’ve had arguments with my daughters. What dad who really cares hasn’t? We had our difficult days. What family hasn’t?

Ok that’s the negative. Let me tell you just a miniscule fraction of the positive. God has blessed Felicia and I with two beautiful daughters who love God.

Both of our daughters were leaders in high school. Both were asked to give the closing remarks of their high school graduation ceremony. Both of my girls played in the band, did well in school. Both of our girls excelled in church related activities and were leaders.

Kara and Lauren have made their mom and dad extremely proud many, many, many times. Way too many times to put in this blog and if I’m forgetting something really important that should be mentioned I know they will forgive me.

Now they’re all grown up. Kara is married to a young man with a heart for God and the ministry. She is the mom of our first grandchild Jackson. She is a worship leader and vocationally she teaches music to elementary school children. Her mom and I couldn’t be more proud.

Lauren (our youngest child) is married to a young man who is a full time music pastor. Lauren has a heart for God and for people.. Right now she is leading the youth drama teams at here church. She is gifted in many, many ways.  Vocationally she is a nurse at the wellness center on the campus of Florida State University. Her mom and I couldn’t be more proud.

Kara and Lauren are survivors. They have survived being the Preachers Daughters.

Follow this link to find my book, The Eye of A Needle.

Logo Church Color

This past Saturday was the day I gave my baby girl away. I marched her down the isle and gave her to Trevor.

Lauren and Trevor’s wedding was quite the event. Lauren has said for years that Uncle Steve (Steve Pettis) would perform her ceremony and she held true to that word. We were so glad to have Steve and Regina, Jenna and Ethan with us. Steve is not Lauren’s blood uncle. We have been really close friends for longer than Lauren has been in the world. They were with us the day she was born and she loves her Uncle Steve and Aunt Regina.

There were many other very close friends and members of our families and their presence meant the world to us.

There was lot’s of planning for months and hard work for weeks. The wedding and reception would have never been so good had it not been for our church family.

We have the most awesome church family. I could say thank you to every individual a thousand times and for me it still wouldn’t be enough.  There are some of you who have been involved in the planning for months. Lauren asked you to be involved and you jumped on the wagon for the long haul.  There are a few of you who have worked hard to make Lauren and Trevor’s wedding a success. I want to mention names so bad but I’m afraid that I’ll miss someone and I wouldn’t want anyone to be left out. You know who you are. Thank You!!

Many others helped Saturday. You worked to make the ceremony great, served as our caterers, servers, host, hostesses and more.  Then you stayed to help clean and put the sanctuary, kitchen and banquet hall back together. Felicia and I were extremely overwhelmed by the love and support that you demonstrated with your actions.

Many, many others attended the wedding. You’re presence did not go unnoticed. The church was packed to capacity and many of those in attendance were you, the members of our church family. Thank you for loving us. We love you too!!!

I know there are many others who would have been present except for circumstances that prevented you. Others that you love us but you just don’t do weddings and that’s ok. I don’t particularly like attending weddings either.

As I write this post it’s Sunday evening. Felicia and I were not with you in worship services today. We slept late (exhausted), drove to Crawfordville, Florida to deliver the rest of Lauren and Trevor’s belongings, gifts and Scar (the cat). We then drove to Deerpoint Lake to our family retreat. We’ve been here about an hour. Felicia is stretched out on the porch swing and I sit in a porch chair with my feet propped up and my computer in my lap. This retreat will be short lived but it wouldn’t have been possible at all without  our ministry partners, Chris and Alicia.

We are so extremely blessed to have such high quality people working with us. They are talented, hard working and Loyal.  It has been an awesome blessing to have today off and be relaxed and at peace. Thanks Chris and Alicia we love you guys!!

Our entire family are so blessed to have all of you as part of our lives.



Jeff Scurlock —  September 9, 2012 — 2 Comments

Lauren and Trevor Starbucks

I had just about five minutes alone with her before we left the bridal room. We shared a few, very special father/daughter moments together. I told her the truth, that she is an extraordinary young lady and that I was so proud of her.

Then, I walked her down the isle and gave her away. After twenty-one years of her being mine I gave her to Trevor.

Trevor did it right. He asked me for her months ago. He asked me if I would give her to him.  I told him that he had to make me a promise that he would love her as much as I do. He said he did and that he would.  My heart ached as we walked down the isle. Not because of her future, it looks very bright. My heart ached at the realization that she would no longer be present in my daily life.

I’m really proud of Trevor and Lauren. Trevor serves as the worship pastor at a church in Crawfordville Florida. Lauren now has a medical job on the campus of Florida State University.

Lauren and Trevor are quite the couple. They hit if off in the sixth grade and have been almost joined at the hip ever since. Trevor too is a high quality human being.  He is talented, loves God and is very anointed. The most comforting thing is that I know he loves my baby girl.


Please check out my affiliate sites in the sidebar. is now being hosted at a new site. If you subscribed to this blog before I need you to do it again. The email signup form is in the column to the right.

This post is based solely on my observation and one quote. There are not statistics or hard evidence, just my personal concern.

My generation, the baby boomers are getting old. As a matter of fact I am on the tail end of that generation and I’m 52.

As a father, pastor and observer I’ve noticed what seems to be a trend among what are now young adults. For the sake of this post young adults are anyone who is old enough to be out of undergrad school and younger than 35.

My observation is that there are a lot of these young adults who are not adults at all. They refuse to grow up.

I’m blessed with three grown children. The oldest is my son Adam. Adam is thirty years old and is a challenged young man. He still lives with his mother and I because of his challenges. Despite his challenges Adam is heavily involved in our church, helps his mother keep the house clean, does the kitchen every night and volunteers at our local hospital.

My daughters are twenty-five and twenty-one. The oldest, is a college graduate, married, has a child, is a schoolteacher, and is involved in leadership at our church. The youngest is a graduate of a medical institute. She has a job as a medical assistant, has her own car, which she purchased and is paying for. She is engaged to be married (3 more weeks), and is involved in leadership at our church.

I am extremely proud of my children. They are mature, responsible ADULTS.

I know others who are. At our church there are many young adults who have worked hard to get educations or just went into the work forces and are working hard. I’m proud of them.

Then there are those who seem to be unable to grow up. I’ve know thirty year old men (boys) who are not challenged yet they still live with parents, don’t work or work just enough to support their McDonalds habit. They don’t contribute to society but they do know how to achieve at the latest video games. Instead of being responsible, going to bed at a decent hour and then rising in the morning to go to a job, they play video games or watch television until the wee hours of the morning. They then sleep the best part of the day away. When I see some of these young adults and ask how they are, their response is always, TIRED. Tired? How can you be twenty something, live with parents, have little responsibility and be tired?

I thought I was a slow starter but by the age of twenty-five I was married, had a child, had attended college to prepare for ministry and was the senior pastor of my first church.

I’m concerned about these young adults.

I’ve just started reading a new book.  The title is WRECKED- When A Broken World Slams into Your Comfortable Life by Jeff Goins. I haven’t gotten very far but this morning I read a paragraph in this book that talks about this very subject.

Goins says; “Words like “initiation” and “rite of passage” and “pilgrimage” tend to ring more true to our postmodern ears. But what is our pilgrimage? We have no great war, no epic struggle to embrace, no cause to call out the best in us.

So what do we do instead? Did you know the average age of a gamer is thirty-two? Now, I don’t see anything inherently wrong with diversion and games, but that is certainly telling about our culture, isn’t it? Instead of raising families or creating culture, we are sitting in our living rooms with our eyes glued to the television, simulating life. We are escapists, cowards, and thieves. We hid, occasionally stealing crumbs from the table of those living the good life. We are avoiding the truth that screams at us from the stillness: “There is more. You are more than this.” So we anesthetize the truth with busyness (or laziness, my addition) maybe if we just do more, this feeling of emptiness will go away. And we won’t actually have to do any real work.” [End Quote] Again that quote is from the book Wrecked by Jeff Goins.

I would be interested to know what you think. Click on the comment ballon at the top of this post and leave your input. Also if you like any post you see at you can share them on your social media networks by using the buttons below. THANKS!

Follow this link to Jeff Goins Book WRECKED.

Follow this link to my book THE EYE OF A NEEDLE.

In the spirit of openness  I want you to know that any links for products that you follow from my pages are affiliate links. That means that if you click on them and make a purchase that I will be paid a very small percentage of the purchase price. Thanks!


I  had a telephone conversation with a pastor friend of mine today. We shared victories and struggles with each other. We discussed the subject of success.

Being a pastor can be fun and rewarding. It can also be an emotionally hard life. I know that if you haven’t done it you don’t understand and I’m not sure that I can find the words to help you understand. You just have to do it for a while.. It’s tough especially if you have vision and are trying to take a church to the next level.

I told him about hearing Andy Stanley on his leadership podcast talking about measuring your success within the reality in which you live. For instance, if you pastor a country church of one hundred people you can’t measure yourself against a pastor who has a thousand people in his city church. If you do, it will drive you insane. So if you are the pastor that church of a hundred, what would success look like? Only you can answer that. What you need to remember is that you are just important in the kingdom as any other leader and that God has something for you to accomplish.

During our conversation my friend, who is almost twenty years younger than me said. “You know Jeff, you have experienced success already that I hope to experience.” What? I wondered even as he was speaking. He went on to say, “you have three grown children and all of them love God, work in the church and are hard working, responsible people.” He said, “to me, that’s success.”

I thanked him for being kind and positive but even as he said it, I knew it was true. Whatever your profession is, if you have children they are your number one job.

I do have three grown children. Adam is thirty and battles some challenges. He lives with his mom and I. He loves God and people. Our oldest daughter Kara is married and just a few weeks ago gave us our first grandchild, Jackson. She and her husband Andrew are devoted Christians.  Lauren, the baby will be married tomorrow to Trevor. Trevor is the praise and worship pastor at a church in Florida. He and Lauren are both devoted Christians and hard workers.

My nest is about to be empty but my heart is full. Thank you God for true

Lauren and Trevor III
Today is Saturday. One week from today my daughter Lauren will be married to some guy named Trevor.

We’re just hanging out today. It’s the first Saturday of college football season.  My son Adam is here, our oldest daughter Kara her husband Andrew and our grandson Jackson, Felicia and Lauren. We’re all here.

It seems to be business as usual. Andrew, Adam and myself are in the den watching Nebraska play Southern Miss. Felicia and the girls are in the dinning room working on wedding stuff and Jackson sleeps peacefully in his bouncer on the den floor.

Periodically I get overwhelmed with the realization that things are not business as usual, that things are about to change drastically. Lauren has been part of our home and daily lives for twenty-one years and four months. Next Saturday she and Trevor will drive away from the church with their life together in front of them. Felicia and I will watch them drive away wondering what life will be like with Lauren three and a half hours away.

I’m proud of and for Lauren. Trevor is a fine young man who serves as the praise and worship pastor at a church in Florida. Lauren has already secured a job on the campus of Florida State University. Everything seems to be in order for them to start their life together.

Knowing that they have things in order brings me great comfort as a dad. It does make it some easier to watch her ride into her future with Trevor. It will not make me miss her any less.

Get email updates when I submit new post. Use the email subscription form in the right hand column under my picture. Thanks!

I’m married to a wonderful, Godly lady, who not only loves God she loves me. Why? I’m not sure I’ve got that one figured out. We married very young; she was seventeen and I was nineteen. She went through her senior year of high school as my wife. Oh by the way, our first child was born two years after we were married.

In Felicia I have a life partner who most of the times understands me. I am a real mystery and she has a tough job but she’s been diligent. After thirty-three years of marriage she still, at times has to figure me out.

Ladies just in case you have recently married and haven’t yet found a chink in your husband’s armor. Just in case you still think your husband is superman I want to share a couple of things with you. You need to know them but your husband most likely will not tell you.

 Your Husband Is Vulnerable. According to the word Vulnerable means, “capable of being wounded or hurt. Wow that might make him seem like a real wimp.

Men put up a strong front. We’re supposed to be tough. Many grew up being taught, “men don’t cry.” I’m certainly no sissy but I am vulnerable, at least in the sense that I am capable of being wounded or hurt.   I’m a man, a real man’s man.  I played football from the 2nd grade until high school graduation. I was a high school power-lifting champion. Before leaving high school I was a 46 in the chest and a 30 in the waist and could bench-press 400 pounds. I was still tender hearted. If you made me angry I cried. There’s no shame in that!

Your husband may be strong, reassuring and a great leader on the outside. On the inside he’s a boy who has been loaded down with responsibility and that responsibility get’s really heavy at times and he can be hurt.

Your Husband Needs Moral Support from You:  There is no bragging that makes my chest poke out more than when Felicia brags on me. She is my number one cheerleader.

Your husband has a God given ego. When you give him moral support by bragging on him you stroke that ego. It makes him more confident and eager to do something else to please you. It’s nice when someone else loves something I do but nothing pleases me more than when Felicia is pleased with something I’ve done.

It’s not much but it’s two things you might need to know.

Men, share something on this page you wished your wife knew.

Ladies, You do the same. Tell me something you wished your husband knew or understood.


You can subscribe to this site for free using the email subscription form in the right hand column and will receive new post in your email inbox.

Are you stressed out? Do you struggle to sleep? Do you have stress headaches? Are you irritable and difficult to be around because of stress?

There are lots of reasons why people become stressed. I wouldn’t even begin to try and cover them all but here are a few things that cause stress in my life.

  • Finances
  • A busy schedule.
  • Too many un-finished projects or what Felicia and I call open circles.
  • Conflict: Usually caused by misunderstandings but hard to resolve.
  • Health Issues
  • Fatigue
  • Apprehension about the future.
  • And some things I won’t mention specifically.
So what should we do about stress? Here are nine things that I think are important.
  1. Make responsible decisions with your money.Sometimes financial stress is because of uncontrollable circumstance, the loss of a job, or an unexpected expense. Many times financial stress is the result of poor, irresponsible decisions. So be responsible today to prevent stress tomorrow.
    1. Financially responsibility begins by putting God first with your money. Tithing.
  2. Don’t take on unnecessary obligations. If your calendar is too full clear some things off of it.
  3. Finish some of those unfinished projects. Felicia and I call it “Closing Circles.” Start with the smallest/easiest projects that are hanging over your head and deal with them. Once the small things are out of the way you can concentrate on the big ones.
  4. Deal with conflict.  Conflict happens. It might be with your spouse, someone at work or your church. It has been my experience that some things are better left alone while others need to be met head on. Only you will know.
  5. Take care of your body. I must be painfully transparent and tell you that I have lived most of my adult life in poor health and am just now really taking control of it by loosing weight and trying to do the right things.
  6. Get plenty of rest. Most experts agree that adults need at least seven hours of sleep per night. Late nights and early mornings lead to fatigue which leads to stress. Going back to the last point, I have learned that when I eat right, I sleep better. I feel so much better and am dealing with way less stress.
  7. Exercise. Again in the spirit of transparency I have struggled with discipline in the area of exercise. Not because of laziness but because of allowing myself to be too busy with other things. Make time for exercise. Put it on your schedule as an appointment and keep that appointment. I am now beginning an exercise regimen. I don’t want to sound hypocritical. I do know that through the years when stressed a good brisk walk or lifting some weights, golf or shooting basketball has done wonders.
  8. Instead of worrying about it, PRAY ABOUT IT.   Philippians 4:6&7  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.what do you do about stress? I’m not a doctor and I can’t give you any real scientific data but what I can do is tell you how I deal with stress
  9. Be Positive. Think positive, talk positive and avoid people who want you to be negative.     Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
  10. Spend time with the most important people in your life. Your Family.

You can overcome stress. Yes there will still be those days that you will forget to do the things to cut stress off at the pass but, when you realize that stress is settling in, don’t wait.  Do something about it.

Leave a comment. Let my other readers and I know how you battle stress.

Click on this link to find my book, The Eye of A Needle

I’ve just in the last few days finished what I believe to be the best and one of the most important books I’ve ever read. That’s right, THE BEST BOOK I HAVE EVER READ. The title, WRECKED, When A Broken World Slams into Your Comfortable Life, by Jeff Goins.

I must confess that I don’t know that much about Jeff Goins. I read the book because Michael Hyatt recommended it. I do know that Jeff is young. I’ve searched and searched for his actual ages and can’t find it but my best guest would be late twenties, maybe early thirties. I know that Jeff works for a mission’s organization that leads individuals on mission’s trips. I also know, now, that Jeff Goins is one of the most gifted writers I have ever read.

Jeff Goins

He is gifted with words, yes but also with a message.  I downloaded WRECKED to the kindle app on my iPad and began reading immediately. The book didn’t’ grab me right away and I even laid it down for a few days after reading the first chapter. I kept thinking about that upside down turtle on the cover (what an awesome cover design) and the title. So, I picked it back up and read. By the time I finished chapter two I was totally hooked. I read this book in a couple of days.

I guess I should just say, read this book and then shut up. I can’t. I’m overwhelmed with the message and with the artistry of the words.

There is no way I can tell you what the book is about in a short blog and do it justice.

I thought that I would share a few quotes that I highlighted in my Kindle app. As I scrolled through them (and there were many) I knew that I couldn’t decide which ones I should use so I decided to use just one.

“We’ve believed a lie. We’ve been told life is about us. That if we work hard enough, save enough money, and buy enough stuff, we will eventually be happy. Many of us have done just that, and we are anything but happy.” Jeff Goins

EVERYONE SHOULD READ THIS BOOK. If we can’t get everyone to do it lets try to get it’s message into the hands of teenagers and young adults who think life is about living with mom as long as possible, taking on no responsibility and being master of a gaming system. What Goins calls extended adolescence.

Who else needs to read this book you may ask. Pastors, leaders, parents, teachers, college professors, politicians, and just about anyone else.

 I hope my recommendation for this book is not over the top. It’s just seldom that a book moves me like this one did. I understand that if I give something a high recommendation to something and you don’t agree with me that in your eyes I loose some credibility. I do not however have any reservations about recommending this book.  Get the book today. It’s available at Amazon in paperback and Kindle Edition.

There are several links throughout this post that will lead you to this book. Go there now.

In the spirit of total openness, my site is an  Amazon affiliate. That means that if you click on the link and buy this book that I will make a few cents in commission. This is not however why I am giving this book such a recommendation.  If you don’t want me to make .20 cents leave this site go to and buy this book anyway.