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Last week a federal judge ruled that the State of Alabama’s constitutional ban on same sex marriage is unconstitutional.  A constitutional ban that was approved in 2006 by 81% of Alabama voters.  As an American I’m extremely troubled that activist judges are ignoring the will of an overwhelming majority of Americans. However, that’s another subject for another day.

I will approach this article primarily by responding to things I have heard from those who support homosexual rights.

1.  If you don’t support gay rights you’re a hate monger.  I agree that there are people in our country who hate gay people but those people do not represent all of us. I also acknowledge that there are people who call themselves Christian who are full of hate. They are not Christians.   I believe that same sex relationships are a sin but I DO NOT HATE HOMOSEXUALS.  I’m sure that some will read this post and respond to me with anger and even hatred but I refuse to hate you back.  I do not hate you and God does not hate you. God hates sin but not the sinner.

2.  I was born this way.  Ok!  I don’t have a problem with that statement and I may be one of the few conservative Christians that you will hear say it.  Here’s why I don’t have a huge problem with the statement.  The Bible (my authority) says in Romans 3:23 that all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God.  I was born a sinner too. Let me give you an example. When I was three years old I lied to my mother. I was a three year old liar. No one taught me to be a liar, it came naturally. I was born that way.  God’s word teaches us explicitly that we should not lie.  When I became a follower of Christ, part of my growth as a believer was to overcome my “tendency” to lie.  So maybe you’re not a liar but you do have a “desire” to have a gay relationship.  If you are a follower of Christ you should be seeking the healing and deliverance of God to change you’re desires and overcome them.  I stopped lying years ago.

I have a few questions:

  • If a man is born with a desire to kill should he have the constitutional right to do so because he says that he was born that way?
  • If someone wants to have sex with children and their argument is “I was born a pedophile” does that make its ok?
  • If a man gets married but then discovers he likes having sex with multiple people should the constitution protect him from his spouses desire for a divorce?

3. People who use the Bible to support their belief’s are “Bible Thumpers.”  Ok again.  I believe the Bible.  I have been a  student of the Bible  for almost forty years.  Reading the Bible and accepting it by faith is part of my faith. However as I am referring to it I’m not angry nor am I foaming at the mouth.  In addition to accepting the Bible by faith I also see the Bible being fulfilled throughout history and even today.  It’s real and it is the inspired Word of God.  As a Christian I have to believe that. If I don’t believe it, then my Faith in Christ comes into question. The Bible is my final authority on all matters.  If you don’t believe the Bible, Ok but don’t hate me because I do and I want society to reflect it.

4.  God doesn’t care about homosexuality.  You have to ignore the Bible to make that statement. Scriptures are replete with passages that show God’s disdain for homosexuality.

Leviticus 18:22New International Version (NIV)  “‘Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable.

Leviticus 20:13 New International Version (NIV)  “‘If a man has sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads. Note: Because I understand scripture and understand that Leviticus is the law, I’m not suggesting that God wants us to put homosexuals to death. All I’m doing in sharing this verse is to show you that indeed, God does care.

New International Version (NIV)   1 Timothy 1:   8 We know that the law is good if one uses it properly. 9 We also know that the law is made not for the righteous but for lawbreakers and rebels, the ungodly and sinful, the unholy and irreligious, for those who kill their fathers or mothers, for murderers, 10 for the sexually immoral, for those practicing homosexuality, for slave traders and liars and perjurers—and for whatever else is contrary to the sound doctrine 11 that conforms to the gospel concerning the glory of the blessed God, which he entrusted to me.

Look at this passage of scripture from Romans 1

18 The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of people, who suppress the truth by their wickedness, 19 since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. 20 For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.

21 For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22 Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools 23 and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like a mortal human being and birds and animals and reptiles.

24 Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. 25 They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.

26 Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. 27 In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.

I’ve given you just a sampling of scripture. There are many more. My only motive is not to “Thump” the Bible but to show you that God does care and that God does not approve of homosexuality.

If you have made your mind up about this matter I may not change it. But if your trying to decide what you believe then take my argument to heart and mind.  If you call yourself a Christian but support the gay rights issue I’d love to have you hear my heart.

If you feel trapped by a desire to be a homosexuality, there is deliverance.

As I close I’d like to reiterate that I don’t hate you if you disagree. I love people,  even those who do not agree with me. I love you!


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Note from me: I usually write when something is burring in my heart or heavy on my mind. I write and  type fast and I make mistakes. I don’t take the time to have my entries proof read because of the urgency in my heart at the moment and, spelling and grammar are not some of my strong points. So please excuse the spelling errors that get by Word and for my grammar and  mistakes.

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Photo by Jeff Scurlock – Our Youth Leadership Team.

John Buchan said ‘The task of leadership is not to put greatness into people, but to elicit it, for the greatness is there already.”

At the church where I serve as lead pastor we are going through a staff transition. Two staff members, Chris and Alicia (husband and wife) who have served with us for over six years in extremely capable fashion are moving on. They have accepted the position of lead pastor in another church.  When I knew for sure that they were leaving I began struggling with what would be the best move. What should I do? Should I immediately hire new full time staff to replace them? Honestly it is a stressful process.

Felicia and I had many conversations and agree that we believe that there is enough talent already present within our congregation that hiring new staff is not necessary yet.

The key to leadership is giving those you lead a chance to shine. To discover talents and abilities that you might not have been previously  aware of and then utilizing those talents.  I love the quote from John Buchan that I began with so I’ll share it again. “The task of leadership is not to PUT GREATNESS INTO PEOPLE, BUT TO ELICIT IT,…”

The danger for leaders is trying to put everything on yourself. I struggle with the it’s easier to do it myself than to take the time to teach someone else syndrome and that’s not good.  Leaders must invest time and energy into discovering and teaching. Today is my new administrative assistants first day on the job. She’s being trained to do some bookkeeping by Chris, one of our outgoing staff members because he also did our books. It’s stressful for me but guess what,  I know that as we elicit greatness from her and as she learns and grows that she will shine. Now that’s good.

Our student pastor (Chris) is leaving but we have a young adult leadership team of ten individuals who will work with our new, younger, inexperienced student pastor.  They will all grow together and greatness will come from them.  Our praise and worship leader (Alicia) is leaving but we have rallied the troops and now I’m confident that as we elicit greatness from them that they will shine. They already have.

Are you a leader? I hope this helps. What do you think?



Note: As the readership of this site increases  I like to perodically repost articles that received a lot of attention. This is one of them. The subject of Christians and alcohol use is a hot button, especially in my part of the country. 

I’ve given a lot of thought recently about the subject of Christians and alcohol. And I want to share with you my personal conclusions. This is in no way an exhaustive paper on alcohol. It’s a brief description of how I feel.

First of all you need to know my culture and my heritage. My Spiritual heritage is this. I am a third generation Pentecostal Christian. I understand chances are that many who read or hear the title Pentecostal immediately envision snake handlers, miracle spring water and someone rolling on the floor in church.  That does not describe my heritage. As a matter of fact it grieves me that most crazy, weird, money grubbing false teachers identify themselves with Pentecostal circles.

I did grow up in an environment where Christianity and alcohol did not mix. My culture is the Bible belt. I grew up and continue to live and pastor in south Alabama, which many refer to as the buckle of the Bible belt.  In my culture growing up Alcohol was considered evil, a tool of the devil.  I was taught that if you drank that you were living in sin and losing out with God.

In my years as a pastor I have grown in my relationship with God and have a much greater understanding of the grace of God that I had growing up.

Where in my past the subject of alcohol was a subject of heaven or hell I now understand grace and know that this subject is not a heaven or hell discussion.

I recently preached a message in my church on this subject and the line of thought in this blog follows closely what I said in that message.

I am not a holier than thou preacher and this message is not meant to be judgmental or condemning.  It is not my desire to run people who drink away from my church. Our church is for everyone. None of us are perfect and all of us are still trying to grow.

The question might be posed, if your going to deal with a subject why not one that the Bible is clear on like gluttony, gossip, backbiting and sexual sins, all of which the Bible clearly deals with?  Those are all subjects that preachers need to address but this blog is on the subject of alcohol.  Note: IF I HAD TO CHOOSE BETWEEN A CHURCH FULL OF GOSSIPERS OR A CHURCH FULL OF DRINKERS I’D TAKET THE DRINKERS EVERY TIME.

After giving this subject much thought, reading, praying, etc., it is my personal opinion that alcohol has become an extremely negative force in our society.  In my experience as a pastor every time I’ve been told of the sexual molestation of a child, alcohol was involved. I’ve counseled with females through the years who have become pregnant outside of the bonds of marriage and most of the time they blame alcohol.   Alcohol in itself is not evil. What people do under the influence of alcohol most of the time is.

According to a government web site ( over 100,000 deaths a year can be blamed on alcohol. How?

  • 5% of all deaths from diseases of the circulatory system are attributed to alcohol.
  • 15% of all deaths from diseases of the respiratory system are attributed to alcohol.
  • 30% of all deaths from accidents caused by fire and flames are attributed to alcohol.
  • 30% of all accidental drowning’s are attributed to alcohol.
  • 30% of all suicides are attributed to alcohol.
  • 40% of all deaths due to accidental falls are attributed to alcohol.
  • 45% of all deaths in automobile accidents are attributed to alcohol.
  • 60% of all homicides are attributed to alcohol.
  • About 5,000 teens die every year due to teen alcohol use.

When it comes to alcohol use the readers of this blog have a variety of experiences as to the use of alcohol.

  • Some of you have never tasted an alcoholic drink in your life.
  • Some were taught to not drink alcohol. You did. You went through what you would call a rebellious stage, did your drinking for a season of life and then stopped.
  • Some of you were raised in homes where alcohol was abused and it caused you to either become an alcohol user yourself or to run from it and call it evil.
  • Some of you were raised in homes where moderate drinking was part of life.

I understand that for some this is a cultural issue. I also understand that in some cultures of the world that alcohol is as much a part of life that in my world drinking a glass of iced tea is.

For me the subject of alcohol is not one of sin, heaven or hell. It is a subject of what my lifestyle says about my relationship to God.  What does that person who may be on the fence with God think if they saw me drinking or heard me say that I do drink? In my culture even those who do not claim to be Christians frown on Christians who drink. Does that mean that I have to let non-believers dictate how I live my life? No!  However I should be concerned how my lifestyle affects those who are new in faith or those who are considering making faith in Christ their life.

If you, as a believer drink alcohol I am in no way saying that you are a sinner, calling you a hypocrite or trying to judge you. Your decision to have alcohol in your life is between you and God.  As a pastor I have told my congregation that I wished they wouldn’t drink alcohol. I have also told my leaders that I expect a higher standard and that leaders at our church were not to be drinkers. If they have been drinking they are to stop with no questions asked.

Why do Christians want to drink anyway? Is it the taste? Is it an attempt to be socially accepted? Maybe it’s because they are an alcoholic and don’t even know it. Maybe it’s because they like getting even a small buzz. It could be the need to feel just a little bit naughty. I don’t know.

Question: WAS THE WINE MENTIONED IN THE BIBLE FERMENTED OR JUST GRAPE JUICE?  After much research I believe that the wine in the Bible was in fact fermented wine.  When Jesus turned the water into wine, it was wine.  I have learned that it is believed by many scholars that in Jesus’ day that wine was diluted with water but I’m not going to try to make that my case.

Wine was wine. Yes it was fermented. Why then do I have a problem with Christians and wine? It is absolutely because alcohol plays a completely different role in our culture than it did in Bible times and like music I believe that satan has taken something innocent and perverted it for his uses.


NO! For those of you who were raised like me I hate to tell you this but I cannot find one scripture that specifically says that drinking alcohol is a sin.  The Bible does mention being drunk. There are several scriptures that tell us not to be drunk.

Question: Jeff, in light of your answers to the previous two questions do you believe that Christians should abstain from the use of alcohol?

YES!  WHY? Culture and the possibility that one drink could lead to destruction and your Christian witness.

Proverbs 14:12 There is a way that seems right to a man, but it’s end is the way of death.

Every person who gets drunk starts with one drink.

  • Every person who becomes an alcoholic begins with one drink.
  • Every person who killed other people in an auto accident because they were drunk began with one drink.
  • Conservative estimates of sexual assault (molestion to rape) prevalence suggest that at least 25 percent of American women have experienced sexual assault, including rape. Approximately one-half of those cases involve alcohol consumption by the perpetrator, victim, or both. Alcohol contributes to sexual assault through multiple pathways, often exacerbating existing risk factors.
  • According to the National institute of health the consumption of 1 Liter of alcohol per year raises the chances of divorce by 20%.

In closing I want to share with you 1 Corinthians 8 from the Message. As you read it I ask that you read it in light of today’s culture and with alcohol in mind.

1-3The question keeps coming up regarding meat that has been offered up to an idol: Should you attend meals where such meat is served, or not? We sometimes tend to think we know all we need to know to answer these kinds of questions—but sometimes our humble hearts can help us more than our proud minds. We never really know enough until we recognize that God alone knows it all.

4-6Some people say, quite rightly, that idols have no actual existence, that there’s nothing to them, that there is no God other than our one God, that no matter how many of these so-called gods are named and worshiped they still don’t add up to anything but a tall story. They say—again, quite rightly—that there is only one God the Father, that everything comes from him, and that he wants us to live for him. Also, they say that there is only one Master—Jesus the Messiah—and that everything is for his sake, including us. Yes. It’s true.

7In strict logic, then, nothing happened to the meat when it was offered up to an idol. It’s just like any other meat. I know that, and you know that. But knowing isn’t everything. If it becomes everything, some people end up as know-it-alls who treat others as know-nothings. Real knowledge isn’t that insensitive.

We need to be sensitive to the fact that we’re not all at the same level of understanding in this. Some of you have spent your entire lives eating “idol meat,” and are sure that there’s something bad in the meat that then becomes something bad inside of you. An imagination and conscience shaped under those conditions isn’t going to change overnight.

8-9But fortunately God doesn’t grade us on our diet. We’re neither commended when we clean our plate nor reprimanded when we just can’t stomach it. But God does care when you use your freedom carelessly in a way that leads a fellow believer still vulnerable to those old associations to be thrown off track.

10For instance, say you flaunt your freedom by going to a banquet thrown in honor of idols, where the main course is meat sacrificed to idols. Isn’t there great danger if someone still struggling over this issue, someone who looks up to you as knowledgeable and mature, sees you go into that banquet? The danger is that he will become terribly confused—maybe even to the point of getting mixed up himself in what his conscience tells him is wrong.

11-13Christ gave up his life for that person. Wouldn’t you at least be willing to give up going to dinner for him—because, as you say, it doesn’t really make any difference? But it does make a difference if you hurt your friend terribly, risking his eternal ruin! When you hurt your friend, you hurt Christ. A free meal here and there isn’t worth it at the cost of even one of these “weak ones.” So, never go to these idol-tainted meals if there’s any chance it will trip up one of your brothers or sisters.

I’m interested to know what your feedback is. Good or bad! Love yall, Jeff!


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At the church where I serve as lead pastor we are in our annual stewardship emphasis time.  For the fourth year in a row we’re watching the video series The Blessed Life by pastor Robert Morris of Gateway Church in Southlake Texas. It’s an awesome series and now in our fourth year as become part of our church.

This past week I heard Robert say something that had not previously jumped out at me when talking about putting God first. He said and this is most likely not an exact quote, “God is perfect and cannot accept second best.” That statement hit me like a ton of bricks.

In this post I’m not going to debate the correctness of the statement. The point I want to make is wrapped in a question.  Why wouldn’t we want to give God our best? He gave us His best.

The subject in the videos is tithing. I believe in tithing and that any Christian who has been taught tithing and still refuses to do so is rebelling against the Word of God. I know it’s a strong statement but I believe it.  The Bible says that if we don’t tithe that we’re robbing God.  As Morris points out tithing pre-dates the law and is also found in New Testament scripture. As far as I’m concerned there is no room for any debate so I’m not interested in debating it with you.  When you put God first you do so with your finances too.

The statement, “God can’t accept second best” also hit me in other areas.  I had to ask myself a lot of questions and continue to do so. Why? Because I want God to have my best in every area of life. I’ve begun to ask questions such as.

  • Do I give God my best in my daily behavior?
  • Do I give God my best in how I keep my home?
  • Do I give God my best in how I participate in a worship time at church?
  • Do I give God my best in my church attendance?
  • Do I give God my best when I prepare to teach a class or preach a sermon?
  • Do I give God my best in how I relate to my wife?
  • Do I give God my best in how I raise my children?
  • Do I give God my best in how I treat other people?
  • Do I give God my best in how I dress?
  • Do I give God my best in the tidiness of my vehicle?
  • Do I give God my best…………..

Do you get the point. I just typed the question in no particular order as they came to me and could have kept going.  Do I as a mature believer, follower of Christ seek every day to give Him my best?  I should.

I will fail at times but God is a God of grace.  I should accept His grace, not beat myself up and continue to do all in my power to give Him my best.

This is not a message of works. It has nothing to do with salvation.  You can’t be good enough to be saved. This is a message of a Christian realizing that God deserves our best because He gave us salvation.

Are you giving God your best? If not will you?  Let’s all try together.

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The photo to the left is a recent one of my dad and me. My dad taught me to do. Get a job! Cut the grass! Do Something! It didn’t kill me to have to DO at a young age. It built character and a work ethic in me.

I have to ask the question which of the follow carries the most power? What I THINK, How I FEEL, or how I ACT.  Some high THINKING individuals would say that they are all connected. Are they? They might say that all three carry the same amount of weight of importance. Do They?

Let’s use a story from the Bible to weigh out the matter. You will have to excuse me in the fact that with this story I must read between the lines. I’m not creating doctrine by adding to scripture. I am merely using my imagination to wonder if.

Matthew chapter 14 tells the story. The disciples are in a boat and it’s dark, “shortly before dawn,” and Jesus approaches the boat, walking on the water. It scared the disciples because they thought He was a ghost or something. So, Peter says, “Lord if it’s you, tell me to come to you on the water,” to which Jesus replied, “Come.”

This is where my imagination kicks in so bear with me. Not wanting to be outdone James and John are considering a walk on the water right along with Peter.  James says, “I THINK a walk on the water is highly possible since Jesus is doing it and He said to come.  John says, “I FEEL something powerful in the air, I FEEL goose bumps all over my body. I just FEEL as though I should walk on the water to Jesus.

While James is talking about what he Thinks and John is talking about what he feels, Peter is already in the process of climbing over the side of the boat and putting his feet on the water.

Which one carries the most weight; Thinking, Feeling or Doing? Two Thousand years later James and John are not even mentioned by name in this story.

You can talk about what your going to do but until you put actions to your words it’s just words. You can expound upon what you feel but until you put your feelings into motion with some action you’ve accomplished nothing.

James 2:14 – 20

14 What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him? 15 If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, 16 and one of you says to them, “Depart in peace, be warmed and filled,” but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit? 17 Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.

18 But someone will say, “You have faith, and I have works.” Show me your faith without your works, and I will show you my faith by my works. 19 You believe that there is one God. You do well. Even the demons believe—and tremble! 20 But do you want to know, O foolish man, that faith without works is dead?

 It applies to everything.

What do you think?

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I, like many of you sat in my chair, watching the presidential election returns with hope for a better tomorrow. As the evening wore on it became more and more evident that things may not go the way I hoped they would,  yet I still held onto hope for a last minute miracle.

When Fox News called Ohio for President Obama I felt as though I had been kicked in the gut. The level of disappointment that washed over me is hard to put into words.

It was important for me that President Obama not win the election and for me it came down to Biblical values.  As far as I am concerned the Democratic Party and their leaders have completely forsaken the moral and Biblical values that they stood for years ago. My hope was that the majority of our nation would stand up for those values. They did not.

Take all the items that we differ on in this nation and boil them down, I believe that what you come up with is this: Those who voted Democratic want to live in a society where the government takes care of them and government assistance is more important to them than moral values.

Now as a Christian believer I have to face some realities and look for hope.

REALITY #1: God’s Word does not promise us a free and moral society without cost.

REALITY #2: It has and will continue to get more and more difficult to stand for Biblical values in this Nation. However there is still hope because with God, nothing is impossible.

So what do I do now? What is my response to an election that is a win for advocates of same sex marriage and the murder of un-born children supposed to be?

#1:  I must remember that my trust has to be in God and not in the moral fabric of my nation and not in my government.

#2:  I will continue to pray, daily for my nation. 2 Chronicles 7:14 “If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.”

#3:  I will continue to pray for my President. Even though I do not agree with him and did not want him to be re-elected I will pray for him because that’s what I as a believer am supposed to do.  Who knows what could happen in response to prayer?

#4:  I will continue to stand for Biblical values in my nation.  Remember; those who will not stand for something will fall for anything.

#5:  I will continues to serve God, put Him First and give Him glory, all the days of my life.

#6:  I will pray for, hope for and do my best to elect morally conservative candidates in future elections.

#7:  I will look for the return of my Lord. 2 Timothy 4:8 “Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day–and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.”

Even so come, Lord Jesus!



Here comes the boom

Admittedly my taste in movies might not be the same as many of my peers. I don’t really get into vampires, witchcraft, aliens and hobbits. I don’t need spaceships and computer generated characters. I like movies that are based in some sense of reality that leave me feeling good. I certainly don’t want to spend $9 on a movie ticket and even move for popcorn to come away scared out of my mind or depressed.

I find myself getting weary with the movie industry because they take what would be a great movie and drop enough profanity in it to ruin it for me.

Last night Felicia and I along with our son and his girlfriend went to the movies and saw, Here Comes The Boom, starring Kevin James.  From watching the trailer I had some idea what the movie was about. A forty something year old biology teacher (James) who decides to compete in mixed martial arts to raise money for a financially struggling school.

Having watched Kevin James playing a fat, lazy and stupid husband on the sitcom King of Queens for years I had some pre-conceived ideas that were all wrong.

This movie contains NO: vampires, witches, aliens, hobbits, or spacecraft. There is no profanity and no sex scenes or even sexual innuendoes. What this movie does have is, lots of laughs, passion to believe in something, passion to do whatever it takes to overcome the odds and lots of fun. I left this movie feeling good.

Weather your looking for a movie for a date night with your spouse or something to take the whole family to. I recommend this movie. I’m not sure how much longer it will be in theaters so GO or plan on renting it when it becomes available.


Jeff Scurlock —  September 9, 2012 — 2 Comments

Lauren and Trevor Starbucks

I had just about five minutes alone with her before we left the bridal room. We shared a few, very special father/daughter moments together. I told her the truth, that she is an extraordinary young lady and that I was so proud of her.

Then, I walked her down the isle and gave her away. After twenty-one years of her being mine I gave her to Trevor.

Trevor did it right. He asked me for her months ago. He asked me if I would give her to him.  I told him that he had to make me a promise that he would love her as much as I do. He said he did and that he would.  My heart ached as we walked down the isle. Not because of her future, it looks very bright. My heart ached at the realization that she would no longer be present in my daily life.

I’m really proud of Trevor and Lauren. Trevor serves as the worship pastor at a church in Crawfordville Florida. Lauren now has a medical job on the campus of Florida State University.

Lauren and Trevor are quite the couple. They hit if off in the sixth grade and have been almost joined at the hip ever since. Trevor too is a high quality human being.  He is talented, loves God and is very anointed. The most comforting thing is that I know he loves my baby girl.


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I’m married to a wonderful, Godly lady, who not only loves God she loves me. Why? I’m not sure I’ve got that one figured out. We married very young; she was seventeen and I was nineteen. She went through her senior year of high school as my wife. Oh by the way, our first child was born two years after we were married.

In Felicia I have a life partner who most of the times understands me. I am a real mystery and she has a tough job but she’s been diligent. After thirty-three years of marriage she still, at times has to figure me out.

Ladies just in case you have recently married and haven’t yet found a chink in your husband’s armor. Just in case you still think your husband is superman I want to share a couple of things with you. You need to know them but your husband most likely will not tell you.

 Your Husband Is Vulnerable. According to the word Vulnerable means, “capable of being wounded or hurt. Wow that might make him seem like a real wimp.

Men put up a strong front. We’re supposed to be tough. Many grew up being taught, “men don’t cry.” I’m certainly no sissy but I am vulnerable, at least in the sense that I am capable of being wounded or hurt.   I’m a man, a real man’s man.  I played football from the 2nd grade until high school graduation. I was a high school power-lifting champion. Before leaving high school I was a 46 in the chest and a 30 in the waist and could bench-press 400 pounds. I was still tender hearted. If you made me angry I cried. There’s no shame in that!

Your husband may be strong, reassuring and a great leader on the outside. On the inside he’s a boy who has been loaded down with responsibility and that responsibility get’s really heavy at times and he can be hurt.

Your Husband Needs Moral Support from You:  There is no bragging that makes my chest poke out more than when Felicia brags on me. She is my number one cheerleader.

Your husband has a God given ego. When you give him moral support by bragging on him you stroke that ego. It makes him more confident and eager to do something else to please you. It’s nice when someone else loves something I do but nothing pleases me more than when Felicia is pleased with something I’ve done.

It’s not much but it’s two things you might need to know.

Men, share something on this page you wished your wife knew.

Ladies, You do the same. Tell me something you wished your husband knew or understood.


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I have recently become an advocate of what many call having a “bucket list.” It’s a list of goals and dreams of those things you would like to experience or accomplish before you die.

I don’t think that’s morbid. I encourage even teenagers to create a bucket list. If your going to accomplish anything in life other than the normal, mundane things then you must set goals. There are a few people in the world that success has just fallen into their lap. You know them, they worked hard but it helped that they were in the right place at the right time.  Or they make millions because they are athletic. Most of us do not fall into that category.

I married young and had children young.  Something that I’m very glad I did. I’m wealthy because of my family. My wife is awesome, my children are my delight and now there is a young man in my life, my grandson Jackson who at six weeks old already has me in the palm of his hand.

My profession is also a calling and has never been one that is financially lucrative.  Pastors don’t get paid for overtime and do not make a commission.  I am thankful that God choose me to preach His Word and to lead a flock. What an honor.

A bucket list for me is a list of dreams, mostly dreams that at present are out of reach. But that’s ok.

I’ve learned (the hard way) some rules concerning and bucket list.

1.  Be careful whom you tell.  Others might not understand  and not be supportive and that can be hurtful and counterproductive.

2.  Don’t get the cart ahead of the horse. I read a book recently by a well know motivational speaker who said take action. He said that once you make a decision that something is a dream to take action, massive action to put the wheels in motion.  I took a very massive action to put the wheels in motion for one of the major things on my list. I didn’t pray about it first, I just took a leap and did it.  It didn’t turn out well and now I regret it.  I got the cart ahead of the horse. The result, I was left feeling small. Having said that, I still believe in taking action, massive action. Pray about it first.

3.  Take care of the prerequisites.  The things that need to be accomplished before that dream can be a reality should be focused on first.  Put anything that needs to be done first at the top of your list.

You can DREAM! Be a dreamer! Dream Big and create that list.

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